A Different Man

a time ago it was indeed
when a very funny thing was said to me
"look at who you are,
and be who you say
life just works out better this way"
i took the advice but to my dismay
i realized that this didnt apply to me persay
nobody likes meeting a person if they dont have to hunt
a man of mystery; now thats what they want
with this new notion in mind
a new me was born, a worthy find
sure i wasnt myself but look what id become
in me an intristing, perplexing thing had begun
i met new people made new friends
i was in a new world of make pretend
but soon after i was figured out
no one cared for me anymore without a doubt
everyone was off to the newer more interesting fellow
i was again left alone, alone and mellow
covering up who i really am
made me waste my life as this man
but was it worth it? what enjoyment i had
was better than none at all so was it so bad?
if i couldnt be me was i any better as a different man?
or is it that no one likes me no matter who i am?

Alive

when its all over, over for me
the world will be gone and i can be free
the chains that hold me, hold me down
are not seen, yet easily, easily found
just as tight a grip they have on me
i have just as much on them you see.
the very thing that bounds me here
is the very thing i love yet fear
yin and yang as some may say
but its all the same either way
to stand up in this world alone
is the struggle i try, i try to own;
the old man sits and thinks away
while the young man fights, fights all day
decrepitness eats as flesh decays
while youth shines bright, bright as day.
to truly know, know something for sure
one must become it, and nothing more
it is loneliness i am and it i endure.
leave me alone, alone i say
i do not wish to become play
play is what children are
and i have not travelled near this far
to lose sight of what is to come
when all is over said and done
but what is the point of death if one is none?
am i really alive? have i even begun?
i am not alive and i have not lived at all
i hold nothing dear in this world so small
one cannot be one if there isnt another
life doesnt work that way, ask any other
my life is not over, yet it hasnt begun
this is something none of you can ever understand
i am stuck here, alone in my desolate wasteland
neither living nor dead
this is my realm, the only one i dread
it seems that none of you can even see me
but just how can, how can that be?
when i have been reaching out to you for all eternity

Between Filth and Faith Lies Life

every morning when i wake up
i look to the sky and
begin to cry,
for i am still alive.
I have such a disgust you see
for you, for the world, and for me.
everytime i think theres hope
one of us fucks it up, no joke.
were all hopeless dont you know
for we cant seem to just take it slow
busy with this busy with that,
we are ball players and the world is our bat.
beating and destroying our very home
trying to survive in a world i cant condone.
with cynical desires to become our own
we ruin relationships that once were known
and held as a most valued treasure
now thrown away with nothing to measure.
If this life is meant to feed our pleasure,
why is it that we stay hurt forever?
every morning when i wake up
i look to the sky and
begin to cry,
for i am still alive.

Of Youth and Flowers

a young boy was walking in a dark nasty forest one day
when he spotted the most beautiful, bright flower and bent down to say
"what are you blooming in a place like this for?
of course you stick out here like a sore
but you are hiding, to be seen nevermore"
the flower said back a retort
"Boy, dont you know that life is short?
and while it may contain no meaning,
if you linger in the dark long enough you will find it there, something gleaming
something so bright it almost lights a path
it gives you a direction, a future, and a past."
aggravated the boy looked at the flower with a sinister grin
and thought to himself how frail how thin?
he went to snatch the flower from the earth but stopped to complain
"if you truly believe that you are a fool, a dreamer, nearly insane.
in this life you must take all you can whenever it pleases
for you can never know when a down-pore ceases.
there is no time to wander aimlessly in the dark
looking for "lights" to leave their mark.
life is made of what you make not what you find
think about that as i sever your vines.
for unlike you i do not go searching while blind
i take what i want, thus all i want is now mine."

One Day

one day, one day
a small child came out, came out to play.
the child was so very happy to be outside,
until he soon then realized,
what he did not see with his small eyes.
instead of other kids laughing and playing,
he only heard nothing, and nothing was saying:
you are all alone, and alone you shall be,
for there are no others no others to see.
the small child said to nothing:
if it is nothing i can hear and see
how is it that you cannot, cannot let me be?